Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Fear and Loathing from Legal

Met with the lawyers today regarding the email below. I met Frank Oswald at a City Council fundraiser and now they're afraid the guy wants to convert and that if he does, and doesn't like it, he'll sue. Let him. If he does, he'll be taken care of. Family Korzha protects itself.

Funny conversation just came up. Do Werewolves and people like them get special treatment under the Americans with Disabilities Act? Are there constitutional issues surrounding the equality under the law with some of the creatures?

Cheers,
Frank Oswald

Legal's answer?

Dear Mr. Oswald:
Thanks for asking such an interesting questions.Werewolves and vampires do not get special treatment under the ADA as they have been found to fail the threshold test for homo sapiens speciation established under the recently amended Act. There are indeed constitutional issues even now hotly debated. LA City Councilwoman Laura Masters has introduced legislation, the Separate And Unequal Act, that would specifically exempt paranormal creatures from the claiming entitlement to city services. The case of Maddox vs. State of California, currently docketed in the First District Court of Appeals, addresses the legality of explicit exclusion of werewolves from State Equal Protection Laws codified in the California State Constitution. The ACLU, on behalf of Family Dumont, has filed an Amicus brief in support of plaintiffs in the case, who have, by the way, moved for a change of venue to the more liberal 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. It's expected that the case will eventually reach the U.S. Supreme Court. Another case, Rogers vs. United States of America, et. al., involves issues of overcrowding and substandard medical care at the Lompoc Federal Penitentiary for Paranormal Offenders. That case was just recently filed.

Warm Regards,

Jennifer Repton-Massey, Esq.
Massey, Silvers & Fellows, et. al.

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